Stressed Out.....

In the words of TI, Wasssssssup Was Happenin? Raye here in the building AGAIN! Crazy day I've had, thanks to me. Ive been stressed out all week for various reasons, but today, today I hit an all time stress high for the week. I couldn't even finish my workout this morning. I'm in the 2nd week of this workout I'm doing to lose some of the fat around my stomach, which has always been a problem area for me. In 7 weeks, i'll let u know how it goes. ANYWAYS, so yea, I couldn't finish my workout. My stomach was hurting. I lost my appetite, and I was pissed off. When I get stressed, my mind races a million times a minute. My mom worries about my stress, actually because it def raises my anxiety levels, which I've had problems with in the past (it runs in the fam). My grandpa's in the hospital, I miss my fam a bunch, and some other situation has had me stressed out all week....maybe i'll explain on a later date...maybe. All I know is, it's crazy how we let past storms rain down on today's sunshine....just completely let it overshadow all the sun rays beamin down from the sky. That's what I've been doing this past week. Thanks to momma Davis' words of encouragement, I'm feeling better. I constantly have to keep telling myself, let the past be the past. I have to learn how to enjoy today. My mom is amazing. Idk what I'd do w/out her.

I'm sittin here, waitin on my homegirl to come pick me up for a night out with the chics, watchin The Insider. WTF is up with this chic who is supposedly selling her virginity, then using the money to pay for college?!?! I mean, I aint one to judge, cuz Lord knows I have no room, and NO I haven't sold my body...DAMN, but seriously?! Dang, that was 1 hell of a run on sentence. I'm just sayin though, WTF?!

And then Palin....idk, the Republicans have me speechless. 1 thing that does bother me is that why is everyone trippin about Palin's daughter's pregnancy and her baby daddy? WTF does her personal life have to do with her role as potential vice president? By no means am I voting Republican, but Palin is def doing her thing. She's a woman who's showing other woman that you can have it all if you put your mind to it....SUCCESS and FAMILY. The thing that's crazy is that, yea people are talking about how her 17 yr. Old daughter is preggars and what not. Can you imagine if Obama's daughter was preggars....the ENTIRE republican party would be in a COMPLETE uproar....and you know it. He's black AND his daughter is fitting into the stereotype. WTF?! Lol...crazy. Because it's Palin, its bad, but not AS bad.

Another thing that blows my mind about the Republican party...is it not crazy that there are something like 27 million Americans in poverty?? And we're supposed to be one of the richest countries in the world...right? I mean we gotta do better. Yes, I was born into a family who isn't starvin, but by no means RICH. Yes, I've had the blessing to have 2 parents (married for over 30 yrs...ballin) to support, guide, and love me unconditionally. It's not just about me though, it really isn't. And it's not just about you either. What about the others who don't have what I have. Do they deserve to live through generations and generations of poverty?? Nah cuzzzz....NOPE! I mean there are so many other aspects that go along with that, but that'd take days to write. OBAMA.....and not just cuz he's colored.

In the meantime ima enjoy this weekend with the girls and pray to God that my stress levels will decrease. It's the worst feeling ever. You know what would make my week end so much better??? My Colts beating the Vikings this week. ;-) If we start the season off 0-2............
...you know what?? I don't even wanna think about that!

Index and the middle finger....
-Raye

HORSE

Yes, like lil D said below, it's that time of year again. Football season baby...there's nothin like it! Week 1 is over, and as most of ya'll know I'm a DIE HARD Colts fan. Like, DIE HARD! It's bad. I tend to not want to watch Colts games around a glob of people so I can hear every single call and see every single play. Plus, I act crazy during games....screaming at the tv (part of the reason why I lost my voice) and saying obscene shit. It aint somethin you wanna be around, especially if we lose. I usually have my computer on hand so I can IM Devin during plays. It proves to be very therapeutic for me during tough times...........


..............which brings me to Sunday night's game. I aint gon lie...I was SHOCKED! Here are some words to describe how I felt during and after that loss to Chicago:

• FLABBERGASTED


• DISCOMBOBULATED


• HURT


• PISSED

I know, I know, it sounds like I just went through a bad break up right? Yea, well it feels like it. It's like a relationship between us. We go together like Nike Airs and Crisp Tees....like 4 flats on a caddy.....YA DIG?! Anyway, we all know Peyton is comin off a knee injury. Marvin Harrison is finally back after battling his knee injury last yr. Dallas Clark is out (even though I'd think for 1 game we have 3 solid WR's who could pick up his slack) Addai left the game early. Everyone was just a little off on the offense Sunday night. Balls that we usually catch weren't being caught. Peyton's timing seemed to be a bit off. Downs we usually convert on weren't being converted. I was sure after halftime we were gonna pick it up, as in the first series we seemed to be moving the ball a bit better. NOPE! Not to mention our defense was off as well, as we allowed for almost 200 yds rushed against us. AND we used all our timeouts...QUICK. This was for sure a team loss, and though I'm crushed about it, at least it was to an NFC team, and the first game. I've been reassured that if the Colts were gonna lose a game, this was the one to lose. I'm over it now (i think), and have confidence we'll get back in the swing of things. Next up: VIKINGS!


1 thing that I am excited about is Lucas Oil Stadium. I can't wait to go back for a game there!


I would like to Highlight some news around the NFL that did in fact excite me, and call me a hater if you want to, I don't care:

2. TOM BRADY OUT FOR THE SEASON

3. TOM BRADY OUT FOR THE SEASON

4. TITANS BEAT JACKSONVILLE

5. PANTHERS BEAT SAN DIEGO

Until next time, Indianapolis till I D.I.E! GO COLTS!



-Raye

It's That Time of the Year Again...

YEP...it's football season and that means it's time to start makin' Super Bowl predictions. I predict the The Dallas Cowboys, and I've got 10 reasons why:
1) They're America's Team.
2) Terrell Owens: unparalleled.
3) Marion the Barbarian.
4) Tony Romo: it's his 3rd season and he's ready.
5) Jason Witten...the go-to Tight End
6) Our offensive line.
7) Our defensive line.
8) Patrick Crayton...matter of fact, all our WRs are hot.
9) Our Secondary...I could name names, but that would take all day.
10) The Cheerleaders.

MVP? You choose! I just know that my 'boys are back, and better than ever.


GETCHA' POPCORN READY!!!

The Vagina Monologues

Is that T.J. Houshmandzadeh of the Cincinnati Bengals? Or perhaps it's Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers?

"One of these things is not like the other..."

Take a closer look, and you'll notice that the creature with the purple pants and the long hair has breasts. Yes; breasts. Those are indeed females.........playin' football........professionally.

Who'da thunk it?!?!?!

Yes, in the year 2000, The Independent Women's Football League (IWFL), a 501(c)(6) non-profit corporation was formed in the Great State of Texas (Go Cowboys). The IWFL is "a full tackle women's football league focused on creating a positive, safe and fun environment for the women who play the game and fans that come out to watch them."

When I was a young child, a diehard Cowboys fan and a tomboy, I had a deep desire to play professional football so that I could contribute to my team's success. Then I grew up.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for that Title IX and women can do what men can do feminist tip, but let's be real...there are only 2 things that turn me on more than watchin a good ass game of football (played by MEN).

However, the rules are a bit different, and they get paid a hellofa lot less:
16 cash prizes totaling $13,500 are available for things like number of TDs, rec's, rushing, sacks allowed, and QB accuracy for offense and INTs, sacks, and tackles for defense. Also, special teams can get money for extra point and FG accuracy. This evens out to about....$1000 a pop...which is wiggity whack.

If it's 2008 and women are allowed to play football professionally, who knows where we'll be in 2025....Monica Lewinsky might be president! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

BA-L-ACK OBAMA

ride home from topeka

8:45 pm. cumulus clouds... 84 degrees... a long highway heading nowhere.
two lonely cars leave me over the hill. i'm alone.




the sunset, slowly and sweetly stinging my eyes... God painting ultraviolet brushstrokes in the sky. a rare time in my life i spotted His true beauty right in front of me... and stopped everything negative in my life that would prevent me from encapsulating this moment.

as i stretched my arms towards the sky like the blades of tall grass on either side of me the last ray of sun beat in between my shoulders, and again and again I could hear his rhythm in my thoughts... those words i had been waiting to hear.. longing to hear since... well since.. 3/16/06. the rhythm of the words to cover up the neverending drumbeat that rang in my head... the feeling of unworthiness. evaporates. sweet on my mind.

funny how every success, every dollar, every new friend can never exact the validation from another man. but sad how easy women become non-clairvoyant and in love, making the coochie easy and reality unimaginable and impenetrable. it is only when we understand God's beauty that we as woman can understand our own, and respect ourselves, our bodies, our lives.. without waiting for someone else who will.

9:30pm. Left to drown in the grey blacks of the skyline, I see my exit. And forever ... I let go.

HS.

Hello...Who Am I??

BACK! It's Raye in the building. I don't really know how this blog thing is gonna work, honestly. Obviously we haven't gotten the hang of it yet, but trust me....we will......someday.....i think.

So I guess I'll open up on this blog and give you an update on my life, since its been since beginning of summer when we started this thing, and you've learned NOTHING about me. As most of you know, I moved here to Charlotte a yr. ago in October. I started a job that I wasn't sure I wanted, but it was the fastest and best way (at the time) for me to hurry up and move out of Anderson, Indiana (if you've been there before, you can understand why) to Charlotte where I so desperately wanted to be. Anywho, I moved here, starting a TOTALLY different life that I had never experienced before. For once in my life, I had weekends free, was working a corporate job, and had steady money in the pocket. For those of you that know me....money in my pocket on a weekly basis is good, because LAWD knows I'm cheap. I call it frugal, my friends call it cheap. LOL. Call it what you like, I just don't like to spend money. Point. Bland. Period. Anyway, looooong story short, I quit my job last week and....................no I don't have another job lined up. That seems to be every ones next question when I tell them that I'm happily unemployed. NO PEOPLE! I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE! I'm a loser....thanks and have a nice day. I mean, I guess I'm like some other 23 yr olds who are still trying to figure out exactly what they wanna do in life. Thing is, I'm a person that operates on plans, structure, and schedules. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but I do know 1 thang: this uncertainty point in my life, which is how i felt this time last year, is an uncomfortable place for me to be.

While I am clueless and feel like i'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, there are a few things that I know for sure:

• I absolutely canNOT move back to Indiana
• I canNOT move back to Indiana
• I will NOT move back to Indiana
• I will get my MBA

Things that I'm still trying to figure out:

• Do I want another corporate job before I go back to school?
• Do I want to do something with tennis (which I desperately miss) ?
• Do I still want to live in Charlotte?
• Where do I want to live?
• What do I want to do?
• Am I normal????????????????????????????????

As you can see, I'm scatterbrained beyond belief. I change my mind about things every other day. I keep telling myself that I'm gonna be ok, and that one day in about 50 yrs. I'm gonna be explaining all this to my children and letting them know that it's ok, just like my parents are doing. I'm glad that I'm done with my last job though. It was my first dip into the corporate working world, and you bessssss believe it was a complete eye opener. I don't know if that corporate bs is for me or not, but what I do know is that some of what I experienced (I'll save that for another blog) is just a dosage of what the real world will be like from here on out. Watch out!!!!!

My mom, 2 nephews and little sister (my dog Destinee Raye....first name Destinee; Middle name Raye....She's a diva) are here this weekend. My nephews really let me know how immature I am as I consistantly seem to get everything they're saying and relate to everything they do. Lol. They're 13 and 14 and still somehow seem to reel me into petty arguments with them as if i'm their younger sister. They still call me Aunt Ashlee, though, whether I act like it or not.

So here I am, sitting on my ass in my apt, writing this blog, and thinking about how I'm gonna get a good workout in today to keep my overeating ass from getting fat. For those who know me, it's definitely possible, seeing as how I eat like a 300 lb. man at times. God bless the man who decides to marry me. I have no clue what the next step is in my life, but as my parents have reassured me, it's ok. I'm 23 and I have the whole world in front of me...YA DIG!

OHHHH, and one more thing, the BOLDNESS blog that I wrote back at the beginning of the summer.....it works! Lol. No really....it works. I think it may have worked for me, but again, that too may have to be saved for a later blog! I mean who could actually put up with me anyway?? Exactly, same thing my mom says. Lol.

Aight ya'll. Until next time.......
-Raye